tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post302298198525935278..comments2023-04-05T07:24:17.014-04:00Comments on Two Miracles to Come: Adoption, thy name is 2YWkayjayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18256420678906545238noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-36502611956867676212009-01-29T01:05:00.000-05:002009-01-29T01:05:00.000-05:00I relate so much to everything you've written in t...I relate so much to everything you've written in this post and the next one after it. I started looking into international adoption after our November cycle and found pretty much the same thing you did, except that in addition to the countries that are closed, R and I are knocked out of a few others because of his defibrillator and our anti-depressant use. <BR/><BR/>Like you and your DH, I've been toying with the idea of adopting older kids. I haven't blogged about this yet, but I found a sibling group in our state that I'd be interested in. My mom (who lives with us and who I thought would be totally against the idea) was possibly even more open to it than I am, which was a shock. But R isn't there yet, more because of some painful issues that relate to his childhood than because of their ages.<BR/><BR/>It's just so tough to decide which way to go, what options to pursue. I hope you are able to find peace as you make your decisions.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09564075022074996137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-70197735053392319102009-01-23T20:12:00.000-05:002009-01-23T20:12:00.000-05:00We have also looked into adoption and it is a very...We have also looked into adoption and it is a very scary world. There was an advertisement in my state that said that 600 children were waiting to be adopted in my state alone. I did a search and many of these children have siblings and they all want to be adopted together. I agree so much with what you and the OP commenters have said. It is so sad and frustrating! <BR/>KrisKrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09916441645018957933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-78079700663889071402009-01-23T12:11:00.000-05:002009-01-23T12:11:00.000-05:00I could write a scathing post about adoption, beca...I could write a scathing post about adoption, because I feel so passionately angry about the entire system (domestic and international) and what an abuse it is to the children even more than adoptive parents - but I'll spare you; looks like you've gotten a taste already.<BR/><BR/>So forgive me for posing this question before I've had a chance to read your blog thoroughly (where you may have already addressed). Have you considered a donor egg cycle with CCRM (I'm on their wait list)? You could think of it as a less expensive, leaps-and-bounds faster adoption whereby you come home with an infant that you've carried.<BR/><BR/>Just wondering.<BR/><BR/>At any rate, so much luck to you - truly. This entire process is so difficult.Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-25144818001102667072009-01-23T12:03:00.000-05:002009-01-23T12:03:00.000-05:00I just wanted to stop by and give you a great big ...I just wanted to stop by and give you a great big cyber hug. I've thought about adoption before we did our first IVF. But I don't think my heart was into it - just did it because I thought that's what we *should* do. I even went as far as contacting a lawyer and had the info packet mailed to me. This was back in 1999 when I was 25. Anyway... I have no "back-up" plan per se. I wish I had one.<BR/><BR/>To answer your question to your comment on my post (FET #4), our ET is scheduled for Feb. 16th and we are planning on staying there until beta. So we *might* cross paths when I go in for my beta!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06102362663976429651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-6366905770199837252009-01-23T10:30:00.000-05:002009-01-23T10:30:00.000-05:00I have been really discouraged by adoption as well...I have been really discouraged by adoption as well. It is a really scary and expensive option that takes forever, which is so unfair after dealing with IF. I am so afraid that my husband and I will never be parents to a living child, we are just going to run out of time and money. It is so sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-60684006197419795702009-01-23T07:54:00.000-05:002009-01-23T07:54:00.000-05:00I did the same exact thing. And then decided that ...I did the same exact thing. And then decided that we would keep doing IVF. To be honest, even when I was pregnant, DH and I were talking that maybe we would still put in for adoption since we've always wanted a big family and, as we get older, our chances get smaller and smaller. But, truthfully, I researched it, made a few calls, and, painfully, decided that we an't afford it. Then I miscarried. And I still feel that adoption is just unreachable. It is so expensive and hard to do and stressful! It is actually causing avoidance on my part...and it is something we'd really really love to do! I really hate that. And, after all of this, I want to scream when someone says to me about IVF and IF, "well, no one would fault you if you gave up now. Why don't you just adopt". Yeah, like it is so freakin' easy! (I probably hear someone suggesting adoption to me at least 2x a week). Oh and please don't suggest foster care either. I couldn't give a puppy away to a loving home and you want to put me in a position where I probably will have to return a CHILD to a family that abused/neglected it and promises to do better next time? I am so happy there are strong people in this world, and I know from IF that I am strong...but not THAT strong.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05323373273366929886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-86963065054559301152009-01-22T21:51:00.000-05:002009-01-22T21:51:00.000-05:00I too looked into adoption and found it to be brut...I too looked into adoption and found it to be brutal. It's very expensive, stressful and takes forever. A friend of mine adopted a Chinese baby girl and it took 1.5 yrs before China released her to them. So she was a newborn when they adopted her and toddler when they received her. And that was after waiting forever on a waiting list.<BR/><BR/>Taking in an older child is very honorable and takes someone with a big heart, especially someone with no children and going through infertility. That is so sad about the older children getting looked over.<BR/><BR/>For me, another IVF looked like a piece of cake after looking into adoption. Seems there is absolutely no easy/inexpensive path for us infertiles.<BR/><BR/>I wish we could have several options all going at once, IVF with multiple adoption applications in process, but who can afford all that at once? Then if IVF works, many of the adoption fees are non-refundable. Ok, I'm going to stop now, this is making me sad.<BR/><BR/>I wish you the absolute best, you deserve it!Jill M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03527626839439456919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-65936325304413098752009-01-22T14:48:00.000-05:002009-01-22T14:48:00.000-05:00That comment above is me, DAVS. For some reason go...That comment above is me, DAVS. For some reason google had me logged in as my DH's name. Weird.DAVshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16759565504954172751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126759758336429667.post-7337939333102709722009-01-22T14:46:00.000-05:002009-01-22T14:46:00.000-05:00Once again, you're writing my words. I hear you on...Once again, you're writing my words. I hear you on all of these points. We, too, have always had adoption in the back of our minds and always felt if we had one biologically, we'd adopt the second. But the international adoption scene--as well as the domestic one--is more frightening in many ways than IVF. Country after country is either full or temporarily closed due to problems...so so frustrating!<BR/>Why does everything have to be so hard?<BR/>Big hugs, from someone who really, really gets it.nullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13813575630230505841noreply@blogger.com