Sunday, May 2, 2010

The End of an Era

After much contemplation and thought, I have decided to bring this blog to an end. Every time I see the name of this blog, I think to myself "My miracles HAVE come...I'm not waiting anymore". This blog was also something that I did to get through the years of infertility that we suffered. It's a blog about trying to get pregnant and what happens when you finally do.

While infertility has left us scarred for life, I feel that we have had the privilege of moving on with certain aspects of our lives. I still believe that I am infertile...7 years of trying with not one natural pregnancy during that time and a heck of a lot of intervention to become pregnant in the end does not a fertile woman make. I realize though that the things that concern me these days are different and I want to make a clean break from this blog, respecting what it was and is to those who find comfort in my words about the time that I walked through the valley of IF.

I have crossed over to "the other side", but I have not forgotten. Therefore, I want a different place in which to discuss matters that concern me now, respecting that this space was somewhere that I found comfort when I was in treatment and actively cycling.

As I'm sure you have noticed, it has taken me a long time to post my final post about my birth story and I think a large part of my reluctance to do so was that it represented an end to that part of my life ridiculous as it sounds. Those 7 years were among the most painful, most difficult and trying years of my life so it seems absurd that I have a hard time letting that all go. I think that part of it is that after 7 years, I know lots about being infertile and not much about being a parent. For the longest time, IF was who I was and it was such a huge part of what I did on a daily basis.

I'm not that person anymore.

I have grown. I am different. I still bear the scars that IF has etched in my life.

I have not forgotten.

So, in light of those revelations, I will be ending this blog. I am going to create another space and will post details once I have created it.

Thank you a million times over to everyone who has hung in with me and offered me such love and support through all of this. I would not have made it without you all. I hope you join me as I take my first tentative steps down another of life's pathways but I understand if you do not.

It's hard to fathom but all of you, many of whom I have never met and probably never will, are so near and dear to my heart and I am so grateful to have felt your loving cyber hugs and support.

May I be able to pay it forward a hundredfold.


Jill M. said...

Looking forward to your new space!

R. said...

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I have learned a lot from you so just know that you have already paid it forward. Good luck with the next chapter in your life.

Kate said...

Looking forward to folllowing you on your journey through motherhood.

lastchanceivf said...

I understand completely. I think about ending last chance because we're not doing any more treatment and that was an infertility angst during treatment blog. But I'm not sure.

Thanks for sharing and keep us informed about your new space.

Meant to be a mom said...

We will miss you, let me know when you start up your new blog.

Kris said...

Can't wait to see your new space! I feel the same way about my blog too, but don't have the time right now to change it:)

Lost in Space said...

Wishing you all the best with your next chapter. I hope it is filled with everything you have dreamed and hoped for the last 7 years...and then some. (-;

Phoebe said...

"Every beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Thanks for sharing your story with us!! You are an inspiration.

Alicelewis said...

You have shared very awesome post, I think I realize though that the things that concern me these days are different and I want to make a clean break from this blog, respecting what it was and is to those who find comfort in my words.