A New Post (Finally)

I've been absent for a while and I know it and I have no excuse other than I've been tired and caught up in the whole Christmas rush. Things have been fine with us but I'm running out of steam really fast these days (not complaining) and not able to do as much as I did before. I would rather spend what little coherent time I do have offering support and keeping up with what's going on with some of the other blogs I have been following. Rushing around to do the normal Christmas things and shopping and trying to get ready for Righty and Lefty (my DH's nicknames for the two girls) has kept me very busy this year. I was so far behind that I didn't have time to put up the tree or decorate like I normally do (gasp) and I definitely didn't get any baking done except for a few batches of biscotti.


I will be glad when work winds down for me - only 4 more working days to go! It has gotten really difficult for me to sit down all day and by the early afternoon I am just squirming around in my chair and standing or squatting to continue working. I have definitely popped but people still say I look small for carrying twins. Since I have been very lax in posting belly pics, here are the latest ones, the first one at 24 weeks and the second one taken just this past weekend at 28 weeks.

24 Weeks:

28 Weeks:

The girls have definitely been making their presence known which is a comfort. Righty tends to sit high on my right side and likes to wedge her butt and her two little legs right on top of my ribs which can be very uncomfortable at times. We confirmed this during my last ultrasound done on Christmas eve and she even turned her head to look right at the u/s wand as if to say "What? I'm comfy here!" I can always tell when she's trying to creep back into that little pocket of space because the area gets rock hard and I get sharp pains that radiate sometimes as far as my back. Ouch! She usually moves after a little while though and if it's really painful I try to encourage her to move down a little by gently massaging her in a downward motion. Lefty is sitting much lower down and we were told that she would be the first one born if I did give birth vaginally. My left side bulges more than my right side so it makes sense that she is sitting down there. Right now, Lefty is quieter than Righty but I do feel them both moving about and kicking and it changes from week to week which one is the more active one of the two. Both girls continue to be head down which I am very grateful for because that is the best possible position for me to attempt a vaginal birth.

I just found out that my doctor will not let me go past 38 weeks and if I haven't gone into labour on my own, he will induce me. He believes that the increased risk of going to 40 weeks is not worth the incremental growth they will have in the last 2 weeks of gestation so I will be holding my two little girls in my arms by the end of the first week of March! Very exciting but kind of terrifying. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the kind of parent I want to be and hoping that I won't mess them up with all of my good intentions. I've had a lot of family stuff swirling around me lately but that is a topic for another post some other time.

I also just found out that I am a tad bit hypothyroid (or hyperthyroid?). My last two blood tests revealed slightly lower than normal TSH and T4 values. My TSH was 0.32 and the acceptable range is 0.4 - 3.8. My T4 was 11 and the acceptable range is 12 - 21. The only record I have of this being tested was back in 2007 and at that time, my TSH was 1.2 and while normal, this is still on the low side. I wonder if this contributed to our IF? I am booked to see a specialist on Jan 13th so I will find out if this is anything I should be concerned with but the nurse at my OB's office told me that she's seen results like this many times before and they always choose not to treat it. Something to file in the back of my mind for the future I guess.

We haven't yet set up the nursery and that is causing me some concern because we are down to the final 10 weeks. A few rooms have to rotate in my house to achieve this. The study needs to move into the guest bedroom, the guest bedroom needs to be moved into the room that is currently holding all of the baby stuff (too small for a nursery) and then we can set up the nursery. We still have grandiose plans to paint and decorate but we'll see how far we get. We've started picking up some clothing, diapers and we bought our infant car seats as well so at least we can bring them home from the hospital if they arrive earlier than planned.

Right now, I feel pretty good other than being extremely tired. I'm hoping to hang on for the full 38 weeks but we'll see. I started seeing a chiropractor to help me with my back pain and that seems help but I am sore after the deep tissue manipulations he did. One weird pregnancy symptom that I have is that the area right at the top of my abdomen is numb. The doctor tells me that this is normal and is due to the nerves being so stretched but it's a strange sensation, almost like someone gave me a shot of freezing there like when you get a tooth pulled. It's all good and normal (or so I've been told). One more weird pregnancy related thing and probably TMI but my nipples are really big. They're so big that if I don't wear a heavily padded bra or if I don't add a nursing pad to some of my other bras, it looks like I'm high beaming everyone. The funny things you learn about your body while pregnant!

I'm off to take a nap - will blog again soon (I swear!).

A Rough Weekend

Mrs. Last Chance IVF needs your hugs and support right now. I truly hope that she has a late implanter there or that her beta doubles like it should and continues an upward trend...but you don't know at this stage. She's been through a lot and I know you will send her some love. This journey is so hard with tons of pot holes to make you fall down and not want to get up...so please, help me to pick up a friend and to hold her up when she needs it the most.

It's Confirmed - We're Having Two Girls!

Last week we saw our OB who was able to confirm for us from the u/s results that the microarray was correct in the genders and we are having two little girls! It really didn't matter what we have and at the risk of sounding trite, we just want them to be healthy. Without further ado - here are the u/s photos that were taken, one of each girl:

They each have two arms, 10 fingers, two legs, 10 toes...their hearts and all major organs were working. We are very thankful.

One of them is 13.6cm and the other is a little bigger at 15.4cm. I actually pulled out a ruler to see how big that was and I can't believe they're both that big already! Although, that's still pretty tiny for a whole person.

I have started feeling more kicking from both sides. Now that I know what it feels like I pay closer attention to those sensations. My DH has taken to calling them "Lefty" and "Righty" and just this past weekend, Righty was kicking the hardest yet (which still only feels like a little tapping from the inside) and my DH was able to feel that when he put his hands on my belly. That was such a wonderful experience for us - my face just split into the biggest grin, which was mirrored on my DH's face when he felt her kicking.

I've started to loosen my death grip on my nausea medication and have weaned down one pill a day so I'm now taking 3 pills instead of 4. I've noticed the difference in that I find my gag reflex is getting more sensitive and things are starting to bother me again. However, I'm still doing okay and will hopefully be able to wean off another pill next week.

We've really started to tell our friends now and that has been such a thrill for us to share the news and receive the congratulations. Many of our friends no longer live in the same city as we do so we never see them outside of the occasional visit so they wouldn't know until we told them. It is truly wonderful to hear the excitement and joy in their voices when we tell them and allows us to lose a little of our fear and celebrate as well.

Other than that, we're starting to compile a list of all the stuff we need to get before the babies arrive. I'm 21 weeks now and really, we only have about 4 months to go and we have to be prepared if they arrive early. We've been very fortunate not to have any pre-term labour or contractions and I seem to be doing well except for the occasional ache in my hips so I'm very hopeful that I will make it to the 40 week mark...at least at this point I am!

I haven't been a very frequent blogger of late but I wanted to make sure that I asked all of you who could, to send special wishes and warm thoughts to someone I'm going to call Mrs. LastChanceIVF. Her transfer is coming up this Wednesday, which is Remembrance Day here in Canada. Remembrance Day honours war veterans and although we have not fought personally in any of the World Wars or the Gulf War or the war in Afghanistan or any othre war for that matter, we have fought our own very personal wars these past few years. As you can probably tell from her moniker, this is her last IVF and I want to send her as much positivity and good wishes that I can. If you have a few minutes, think of her and wish her well.

No results yet!

For those of you who are keeping track, yes, we did have our 20 week u/s Wednesday but here in Canada, there are signs up everywhere that clearly state that "The ultrasonographer is NOT allowed to release the results of the ultrasound and that INCLUDES the sex of the baby". I was asking very nonchalant questions, prodding gently to see how much my ultrasonographer would reveal and she was pretty tight lipped. So, we have to wait to confirm that we are having two little girls until the doctor's visit this coming Tuesday.

The ultrasonographer did take a few minutes at the end of the scan to show both my DH and some shots of the kids. It was such a relief to see them both there...moving arond, each with her own head, arms, legs, heart, feet...they looked beautiful. One of them cracked me up - she stretched her jaws into this wide yawn right as we were looking at her as if to say "Mommy! Stop keeping us up! We want to sleep! Tell her to stop jiggling us around!" It really made me realize that there are two little people inside me with their own individual personalities. Wow.

All I was told that one twin had a HB of 157 and the other HB was 145, both totally normal heart rates and looking good. I don't know if they were measuring on target in terms of size and growth as she didn't share that info with me. I think I caught glimpses of their hearts pumping away and they looked pretty normal to me, the untrained eye. Both babies are head down which is good news for me since I want to try to avoid a c-section given my issues with keloid scars. If the babies were sideways, that would mean a definite c-section unless they somehow shifted between now and then. In any case, both head down is good news for us!

I'll scan in the two u/s pictures later this weekend as we are away visiting relatives in another city. I did get two really nice side profile shots that actually look like babies...even I can identify the heads! Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for following along.

Ultrasounds Make Me Nervous & First Belly Shots

This coming Wednesday is our big 20 week anatomical scan and I am already starting to freak out a little. In hindsight, I haven't slept well the night before our other planned u/s and I seem to recall that I start feeling more nauseated right before as well.

See, I can logically explain what is going on...controlling it is another matter entirely. What I think is happening is that I worry about what we are/are not going to see. My oh so powerful subconcious mind is clinging to the nausea, making it stronger than the medication, just so I have some sort of "proof" that I am still pregnant. I haven't thrown up again yet but I am struggling again with meat and some meals just aren't going down as well anymore. My mild gagging has also come back but overall, I am still doing better than I was off medication but I am completely convinced that it's the worry about the upcoming u/s that has me nauseated again.

Some of the crazy questions I think are:

1. Are both of them still in there?


2. Did one of them disappear?


3. Do they both have heartbeats?


4. Are they still growing okay?


5. Is one growing faster than the other and making the other one starve?


6. Is that just discharge or am I leaking amniontic fluid?

Two nights ago I had a little mini freak out on the phone with my BFF (who is used to my craziness and talked me down quite calmly and rationally). I read in that What to Expect book (terrible, awful book) about people already starting to feel movement at the 18 week mark and since I am 19 weeks and haven't felt a thing, that got me concerned that I wasn't really carrying around babies but just two little figments of my imagination. I am not that big yet (still) and another pregnant coworker who is just 1 week ahead of me and expecting a singleton is *bigger* than I am. I know - it's not a competition but I can't help but compare and use it as a guideline as to how I'm doing. After all, I'm pretty sure she got pregnant the "normal way" whereas I didn't so I need to constantly reassure myself that my pregnancy is "normal" in its own way.

I also still have the amazing disapearing/reappearing belly. In the morning, there isn't much to look at. Some days I even convince myself that it's almost flat! At night however, after my 6 meals, my belly does seem to pop out more. You be the judge of that:

This shot was taken this morning...(19w1d)

...and this one was taken this evening after dinner...

My DH laughed...he doesn't think there is much of a difference but I think there is. Sigh - must remember not to blog while having a surge of pregnancy hormones.

Thank you to everyone who commented about the "leakiness"...makes me feel a little more like everyone else. No one else ever mentioned anything about this issue so I was really feeling like it was just me! I didn't see it referenced anywhere in the aforementioned awful resource book either and I started to think that if it's not there, than it must not be that common at all but you all proved me wrong! Yay fellow bloggers!

This Tuesday night we also start our prenatal classes at the hospital. We were wait listed for a special prenatal class for people expecting multiples and then finally got in so it will be really interesting to hear what they have to say and to meet some other people. I am going to be hard pressed not to compare tummy sizes with others around the same gestational age so I keep reminding myself that this is not a competition!

I have also bravely made my first foray into Babies R Us to start the research on the kind of stroller that we want to get and all the gear that you need to transport babies around these days. Man this stuff is expensive!! We also belong to a buyer's club and will be able to take advantage of the ability to buy without a retail markup so we are going to make good use of our membership this year. I was quite surprised how heavy some of the strollers were and I ran into another woman with twins who said that most infant strollers can't be taken with you when flying as most airlines will not allow them since they're too big/bulky/heavy. All good stuff to know but there is definitely more research to do before we buy. Besides, it still feels too early.

Anyway, that's about it for me now. Three days to go until the u/s...

Embarassing Question

So I've talked about many, very personal things on this blog - uteruses, sperm, therapy, etc. but I'm kind of embarassed about this next thing. However, curiousity has gotten the better of me and I'm going throw this question out there and see what comes back.

So here it is.

Has anyone ever lost a little bladder control when sneezing/coughing/throwing up? I never had this problem pre-pregnancy but it seems to be something I have to watch out for these days. In the split second before I sneeze/cough/throw up I have to remember to clench my muscles down there or else I just lose it...a tiny bit. I thought this was supposed to happen *after* the babies are born, not before! Either that or I guess I just have very weak Keigel muscles.

I seem to be carrying very low too so I don't know if it's just the way that everything is positioned...maybe the babies are sitting directly on top of my bladder and the weight is making me leakier than normal???

Anyone else?

Preparing My Furbaby

As many of you know, I am a dog lover and my furbaby Daisy has been a light in my life during these very long and trying 7 years it took to get to this point. She never judged me for not wanting to be social and was always willing to curl up for a good snuggle. On days where I had personal pity parties and would just lie on the floor crying, she would let me go for a few minutes and then start barking at me to get up and not feel so sorry for myself - after all, I had my wonderful DH and her right?

My DH and I have been talking a lot about how we are going to help her to adjust to the new situation. I know she will come to love our two little girls but there will be an adjustment period and we want to help her through that as much as we can. Once she discovers that they will share food with her, she will be their devoted slave forever.

Actually, we started getting her ready as soon as we got her as a puppy. We constantly touched her paws, grabbed her fur and pulled her tail, all gently of course but we did it just the same to make sure that we desensitized her to the sensation just in case a small child did it to her one day. She's very tolerant of us and she just looks at us like we're crazy and she's doing us a favour by "letting" us have our way. Have I mentioned that she is the best dog ever?

We are also looking into buying a 2nd family car, most likely an SUV and we want to do it in advance of the birth so that we can get her used to sitting in the back - the very back...you know, the hatch back part of the SUV. Right now, she sits behind us and stretches out across the bench - she's never had to share the space so why would she start now? We don't want her to associate being demoted to the back area with the kids so we need to do this far in advance and reward her so she associates good things with sitting so far back there. She was pretty funny the first time we put her in the back of my parents' SUV - she kept on poking her head over the back seats, a little confused, looking at us as if to say "Mommy - why am I so far away? How on earth are you going to feed me cookies from all the way up there?"

We also found this great website which sells a 12 minute soundtrack of all the sounds a baby makes from laughing to screaming. Check it out:

The news article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/and-baby-makes-four/article1270252/

The website where you can get the soundtrack: http://www.dogmeetbaby.com/

My DH was pretty funny and remarked that Daisy wasn't going to be the only one who needed to listen to this recording to become used to the sounds a baby would make!! It will do our family a world of good!

Many people have offered to take Daisy off our hands since they assume that we will be too busy with the girls but there is no way that we would give her up. She is a part of our family just like I am, my DH is and our two little girls.

We will all have to adjust but we are doing everything we can to make that adjustment easier. In my eyes, it is no different than asking a first born child to adjust to the idea of siblings. At first, they will be wary and maybe a little jealous of one another but they will soon become friends. We will still get her outside for her daily walks, run around with her and spend time being silly with her just like we are now. We need to make sure that we praise her when the babies are around (again, positive association with the two new screaming bundles) and make sure that we don't ignore her needs. We have an awesome dog walker who loves Daisy as much as we do and she has already volunteered to help us when the babies arrive so that will also ease the transition.

If anyone else has any good tips on how to make the adjustment, I would love to hear them!