Afer much debate and a written pro and con list, we have decided to do a FET with my next AF in May. The discussion went on for days, we went around and around in circles, we weighed all of our options and we always seemed to end up at the same answer - FET. Thank you to the many people who gave us such helpful support and advice and we did ponder everything very carefully before deciding. It may not be the most obvious choice but let me explain our rationale and how we came to this conclusion.
My first knee jerk reaction was to cycle again and bank as many as possible to give the FET the best shot possible. However, in thinking back over my long IF history, when I've done back to back cycles in the past, my results get worse with each progressive cycle. I know that CCRM doesn't believe that you need to rest at all between cycles, but being the poor/average responder that I am, every little thing seems to matter. If this was the option that we pursued, than the logical answer would be to wait a little while longer to cycle. How long would we wait? Probably a few more months...long enough for us to do a FET now. Besides, if we waited to cycle again, doing a FET now would still be considered a resting period for my ovaries. Full circle back to FET.
If we pushed to cycle again first, we considered the possibility that we could get more and better graded embryos. When time came to do the FET, we would likely bypass the 2 embryos we have on ice now (a 2/3 and a really iffy 4CB) in favour of the higher quality embryos. That would mean that the ones we have now would remain vitrified for a longer period of time if we get a BFP. Vitrification is such a new freezing technique, there isn't a lot of information out there about the effects of vitrification on embryos stored for the long term. Given how fragile everyone keeps telling me my eggs are, it may not be the best thing to keep our two totsicles vitrified on a long-term basis. The best thing would be to do a transfer sooner rather than later. Full circle back to doing a FET now.
We also considered that if we cycled again, I could end up with nothing and still be in the same place with the same two totsicles. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush or so the saying goes. We always knew that pushing out to day 5 blast would be a big risk for us and that possibility is the reality that we can't ignore when we cycle again. To mitigate this risk and to improve our odds, I would want to continue working with my TCM doctor with the hopes of improving my response. I have seen some positive changes since beginning to work with her and it has only been about 2.5 months so if we waited to cycle, it would give her a longer period of time to get my body back into balance (whatever that is!). While we wait, might as well do the ET and see what happens. Full circle back to ET.
No matter how we looked at it, it just seemed to us that all signs were pointing to waiting to cycle and doing the ET now. It feels like the right decision for us regarding these two embryos. We felt that we needed to give them a chance but have left it open that if things don't work out, we will cycle one last time at CCRM. I know, I know - I've said that before but I still feel that this is the year that the ART portion of our IF journey will be brought to a close. The only reason why we are even considering doing one more cycle at CCRM is because of the size of our tax refund.
My calendar has been tentatively set to start with my next AF expected on May 18th. If I started with my April AF, ET would have been during the June shut down and would have been put on more and longer meds to get me past that time. Given my body's dislike for meds, that didn't seem like the right choice. With my May AF, ET is pushed back just 2 weeks and is estimated right now to be June 26th.
The knots in my shoulders and neck have gone away now that we've made our decision. No more chest pain either. Onwards...that is the only way we can go at this point. Now I have a date, a timeline, a schedule to follow. We have carefully planned our next step. Let us now take that step forward boldly.