Two things that happened to me today that made me pause a little.
First - had a dream about a friend of mine showing up pregnant one day with a cute little bowling ball bump. Saw her today and she is, you guessed it, pregnant although not showing. The showing part was completely in my dream.
Second - I've been having terrible shoulder and chest pains and my TCM doctor told me today that the shoulders in traditional Chinese medicine represent the gall bladder meridians and the gall bladder governs decision making! Huh - so I'm all conflicted about what to do - cycle, don't cycle, FET - and it is totally and completely being reflected by my body. My chi is low and my shoulder pain indicates that I am pretty conflicted about this decision we have to make. Interesting...
No decision here yet although my DH is leaning towards doing the FET now and seeing what happens and then dealing with the result then. Me - still sitting on the fence about it. I'm not getting any younger and if we have to try again, I would rather do the cycle now and increase our chances for the FET. But it always comes down to money. Ironic that our mortage needs to be renegotiated by June 1st and if we needed more $$, now is the time to get it. If I increase the mortgage, I feel like I am dooming the FET to failure since I have put contingency plan in place. If I don't increase the mortage, I am essentially putting all of my eggs in one basket (haha - pun intended!). I still don't know what I want to do.
Anyone have a good psychic I can consult with?
For Good
12 years ago
12 comments:
No good psychic here but I hope you guys can fall into some money so the choice can be up to what you really want to do. The money has always been the hardest part for me too. Its so expensive but worth it. Good luck finding a psychic. I hope they can tell you all you need to know!!
The money aspect of all of this STINKS. Hugely. If we all could just fall into some huge pot o' money at least that stress would be removed. There should be a special lottery just for infertiles :)
Good luck making your decision!
I had to make the same decision... I have 1 untested snowbaby and had to decide whether to transfer it or cycle again to get a few more while my body is still capable. It was a very tough decision that took a few months to decide on. The financial aspect makes the decision so difficult. I decided to cycle again so I have a chance of getting a baby now and a sibling later. Best of luck on your decision!
Ugh, I know how you feel. It's such a huge stress factor. My DH always says take the money thing off the table, make a decision without considering that and then we'll deal with it. Hmm, I'm not quite as confident :-). We did another cycle straight away when we had one normal, because of my age (much older than you) and because we knew we'd definitely want to try for a second, if we're lucky enough even to have one. So I wanted to produce all my eggs now, while I'm still younger. It's a very difficult call. The right decision will come to you, I'm sure. It sometimes takes a while to get there. Hugs, hugs and more hugs.
I so wish that money was not a factor in all of this IF mess. I think it is a definite sign about your mortgage coming due in June.
If you can do the FET and be fine with the result either way, just do the FET. But if you know that you would like one more opportunity to make more eggs and add them to the mix, then do that. Easy to say, but so hard to rationalize the money factor, I know!
I have often wondered myself if anyone knows a good psychic!:)
I just wanted to wish you the best with your decision. I am lucky living here in MA since money is not much of an issue with IVF. I find it crazy that you ran into your friend and had that dream.
Ugh. I hate the money aspect. It just puts so many limits on us. I was in the same decision making boat a few days ago. To be honest- a large part of me wanted to cycle again so that we have some 34 year old eggs and normal embryos sitting in the lab for this FET and then siblings...but money played too much of a factor in this. If this cycle works, we will then bundle cycles for a sibling in future or if I find out my stats are too bad, we may even do an ED then...We just couldn't swing it financially this time. I hope you can make your decision but definitely feel good about whatever decision you make. They are both good, strong choices!
by the way, I read that first Diana G book years ago - my friend gave it to me right after college. It was great. I think that is a good suggestion- maybe I should re-read it and then go down the series!
I love Davs idea about a special lotto for infertiles!
It is amazing how the body tells the tale of the mind. Your dream was crazy, you have been intuitive lately...
Don't know a good psychic, but I do know a good mortgage guy (my hubby) he lends nationwide and could run the refi #s if you like. Email me if you'd like :)
Happy Friday!
I'm completely useless on assvice. The money part just sucks and makes these decisions so much harder. Wishing you peace in finding your decision....
I hate it that money, or the lack thereof, is what dictates whether a couple can or cannot try for a chance to become parents. It's so not fair! I wish you the best in your decision. It's a tough one, but I have confidence that you'll do what's right for you.
PS. We did the refinance thing on our house and took out several credit cards and even got a loan from Capital One Healthcare Finance loan. Yep, we're maxed out.
Maybe I'm being WAY too optimistic for you and if so, I apologize, but if you are successful in having one, you might want another down the road. By then, you'll be a couple of years older and if, if you are able to freeze an extra or two--now is the time. So, assuming the $$ and energy is there, go for another cycle before FET and then you may have more options in the future. In the end, you might end up with only enough for this transfer, but . . .. I really wish I had thought about this and tried to plan ahead a bit, but of course, my RE never discussed it with me at all. Good luck.
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