I was watching Rachael Ray's show last week on The Brides of Harris County and I found myself welling up many times throughout the one hour show. In short, this show was about couples who live in Harris County and whose wedding plans were destroyed when Hurricane Ike swept through the area. Many reception halls were destroyed or were forced to close in the aftermath and many of these couples lost some if not all of their money.
I kept on thinking how wonderful it was that Rachael used her time and influence to make the dreams of so many of these brides come true and for no material gain on her part. I thought that was mighty fine of her.
My thoughts started to wander down the path of what I would do if I were blessed with those kinds of resources. Thankfully, my life has not been touched by the devestation of a hurricane so I cannot relate to that specifically, but what I have can related to is IF. Unfortunately, I know that ugly face. IF has consumed my life and has dominated my 30's. When I look back, my 20's were all about graduating, meeting and falling in love with my DH, the wedding of my dreams and creating our home. My 30's were all about the pain of IF, countless shots, treatments and appointments, loneliness and despair and a heck of a lot of soul searching.
Wouldn't it be great if all IVF treatments were free and you could do all of the cycles you ever wanted to do? How about if our medication was fully covered forever? Imagine if others were simply educated about the huge financial and emotional toll that IVF has on us?
Well, turns out that I did not win the jackpot for our local lottery but I was thinking about how I could still contribute and not use the lack of funds as an excuse not to. Use what you have right? I don't have much to offer right now but what I try very hard to do is to be supportive of others. I try very hard to find the right comforting words to say to my IF sisters when those in their own lives do not understand. I try to empathize and sympathize when my IF sisters are trampled on with ignorant and hurtful words. I am a shoulder to cry on and any information I know that I have come across in my IF travels, my IF sisters are more than welcome to share in. It's not much but it's something and I know that when I've been down and out, more and more it is my IF sisters that pick me up and get me moving again. I am so very grateful and hope that I too can pay that kindness forward.
Have a good day everyone and remember, if you need me, I'm here for ya!
For Good
12 years ago
10 comments:
Wow, what a nice post! You have shown me that very support and I want to say thank you. Wouldn't it be great if we did have a million bucks and we could pay for everyone's IVF in our blogger group??? But you're right, we are all financially tapped and support is really all we have to offer. But it's priceless when you're down and no one understands and then along comes your blogger friend saying just what you needed to hear.
By the way, I've always wondered about your screen name, are you Kay and your dh Jay?
You said it sista! Everyone has their struggles, and this just points it out. We are fortunately very lucky to have good savings to help with the cost...but we now are trying to buy a house. There is always something. :) Thank you for the sweet post. :)
Jill - my screen name is just a variation on my initials "KJ". I'm not that fancy but thank you for thinking that I am :). And yes, if I win the jackpot this week, I would pay for everyone's IVFs in our little blogger group. TAKE THAT IF!
I often sit around and dream about winning the lottery. And how I NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER than to pay for everyone's treatments. Seriously.
But you're right--the support we can give each other is definitely priceless! Thank you for that.
I think often about how I can pay forward all of the support I have gotten and hope to someday be able to help someone else financially for IF treatments. But I like your thought...if we just pay forward our support, empathy, sympathy, understanding, etc then we will all benefit.
Your support has been so valuable to me and I am so thankful. On one of my previous blog posts you wrote something about feeling alone in a room with people you can see and touch and feeling closer to people you have never met. This resonated with me so much. I have often felt like an odd one out based on things that have happened in our IF journey and I get so much comfort from all of my wonderful online friends.
Kris
This was such a beautiful post. I agree. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the resources to get us all a free cycle? I would absolutely do that!!! Just the freedom of having to not worry about finances on top of everything else that we have to worry about! It breaks my heart every time one of us suffers a set back. And, it is so strange that I feel closer to a lot of my fellow bloggers than I do to my IRL friends. (um, whom I don't have many of anymore- so sad). But, it is what IF teaches us I guess. You girls are great. Thank you Kayjay and everyone else here for helping me through these times!
Hi there KayJay- I have just read a bunch of your blog and wanted to say I will be cheering on this cycle with you...The new-found support I have discovered here over the last week or so has really picked me up as well.
I (a fellow IFer residing in the Great White North) have been through the wringer like you and am curious to watch your experience at CCRM.
Someone wrote on their blog "The person who said money can't buy you happiness did not have to pay for fertility treatments". I would add though that money cannot replace the understanding we have for each other and the loneliness that comes with this IF journey.
Know that we are all rooting for your miracle.
What a great post! I saw that episode too! I am just catching up on your story - you have been through so much. GL with your CCRM journey!
This was a very touching post. I am right there with you. My 30s have not been as blissful as I had hoped but they aren't over yet. Thank you for YOUR support. :-) Hugs
I saw the beginning of that episode and have experienced hurricanes first hand. It is devastating to go through. My FIL died (not storm related) when Hurricane Dennis hit our area. Oh the chaos trying to find a funeral home that has electricity. Anyway...I can totally relate to what your said. You have been such a support for me, and I can't thank you enough. Hugs.
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