How Much Did That Cost??

I'm an Accountant...well, at least for now, that is the hat that I am wearing. I've really made a point last year of keeping track of our medical expenses because I knew that there would be a lot of receipts and come tax time, the summarization would be a horrendous task to complete. Yes, even us accountants can find sorting through a large pile of receipts a little daunting, especially when they're old and not organized.

I knew that we spent a lot of money on treatment and medication in 2008 but the sum total was staggering, even to me. I told my DH the morning after I had completed my initial summary and he almost literally fell out of bed. If you had told me that we would have spent so much on treatment 6 years ago when we started all of this, I never would have believed you. Not in a million years.

Curious how much we've spent? Our total medical expenses, all IF related for 2008 was (drum roll please)....

$64,185.80

Yep, that total was the amount we spent from January 1st to December 31, 2008. One year.

We are not rich but we are comfortable, don't live an extravagant lifestyle and we've had the benefit of 2 incomes up until 2007 when I quit my job to focus on treatment full time. We had savings, which have since been completely depleted. Our final act of desperation was to draw against the equity in our home to fund one last treatment in the US. Granted, we haven't completed the US cycle yet so there is a huge chunk of money in the total above for an IVF cycle we will do in early 2009. But wow...$64K in ONE YEAR?

I know that we are extremely fortunate to have the funds to pay for treatment but this is it...there will be no more treatment after this one because we are, quite simply, out of money. I will not spend $64K again in 2009 chasing this dream. I can't keep asking my DH to continue to support me while I sit at home with no children, knowing that I can help our family's finances if I returned to work.

For those of you who like details, the total above breaks down as follows:

$800 - Counselling
$6,580 - medication not covered by health plans
$14,445 - Canadian IVF fees
$41,904 - US IVF fees (including travel expenses)
$457 - Acupuncture fees

Since I am Canadian, fees for doctors' visits, b/w and u/s are covered by provincial health care plans and my DH's private health insurance had some IVF drug coverage that we used up at the beginning of 2008. This is what is over and above that. Also, we have spent so much $$ on treatment, all of it charged to our credit card with reward points for travel, that we have enough to fly to CCRM for free every time we need to go. Can you imagine how high the total would have been if I had to include these things in addition to the above?!

I don't mean this blog to come across as a whine because I am truly grateful that we have been able to do as much treatment as we have done. My realization from this exercise is that we have gone further than we ever thought we would have gone down this road and spent more money than we could have ever imagined. I laugh when I remember how it was when we started - I wanted to do this all naturally, didn't want to take any drugs, was a complete ninny about needles, blushed during doctors' examinations, moaned about the inconvenience of having to get up early to go for b/w and u/s...I was so naive. I realize how much this experience has made me grow up. What an expensive lesson this has been.

Do I regret the money spent? BFP says no I won't. BFN says I will. And that is the hard part - not knowing which side of the equation you're going to end up on. However, I know that I am grateful to have had the chance at all because I know that there are many out there that want the same thing that I do but can't afford treatment.

So what will $64K buy you? A few more shots, another kick at the bucket and the opportunity to chase the dream, one more time. I would be really sad if all the money we had couldn't give us this chance.